| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5045 (03/11/08 02:10 PM) |
I deny Link's badassery. THERE!
How? Besides the fact that he's a cap and tights wearing douche with a sword and bow, there's this... Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Dr Tanner |
|||
|
Posts: 149 (03/11/08 02:25 PM) |
NEWS UPDATE: Police searching the Jersey childrens' home have found Michael Jackson's other glove.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honour!
Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth! And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one! ... And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a ZOO! UNLESS IT'S A FARM. |
||
|
FORGOTTEN SARAFAN |
|||
|
Posts: 2409 (03/12/08 01:58 AM) |
 |
||
|
Hash Ak Gik666 |
re: | ||
|
Posts: 683 (03/12/08 02:49 AM) |
The TV show doesn't count. Look, he has brown hair, it's clearly not the real Link. Besides, the real Link doesn't talk.
Ever. Because he's too busy stabbing things in the face to bother with boring things like speech.
"Nothing is as big as mine." - Bruce Campbell |
||
|
the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5046 (03/12/08 03:58 AM) |
He isn't Batman; The TV show counts.
He just dyed his hair when he got game deals, like the prissy princess he is. You see the ears? HE's AN ELF! Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Hash Ak Gik666 |
re: | ||
|
Posts: 684 (03/12/08 04:46 AM) |
He can't have dyed his hair. He was asleep for the entire period when all prissy princesses go through that hair-dyeing hair
phase; he just woke up and was awesome. Most elves hang back with their magic and %%++ and shoot at people from trees, like you said, but not Link. He jumps in
with his sword and fucks people up hand-to-hand. He's just awesome. What other elf stabs people in the head while galloping by on a horse?
"Nothing is as big as mine." - Bruce Campbell |
||
|
the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5048 (03/12/08 11:09 AM) |
To answer the question: Legolas... (hot DAMN, does he need to die horribly)
And Link has a boomerang. And pointy ears. Doesn't he also make music? Because that just closes the deal. But, if anyone here knows of a version of elves (because some writers try to be clever and call them differently) that DO somehow kick major amounts of ass, or whom die horrible, horrible deaths, please let me know. Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Hash Ak Gik666 |
re: | ||
|
Posts: 686 (03/12/08 11:35 AM) |
As much as Legolas does need to die, he still is quite adept at the art of %!$!$@# people up. Besides, only the movie Legolas needs
to die. He was fine in the books.
Does Drizz't Do'urden count? "Nothing is as big as mine." - Bruce Campbell |
||
|
FORGOTTEN SARAFAN |
|||
|
Posts: 2410 (03/12/08 12:29 PM) |
i think legolas was quite cool in the films too
always liked the sword( or dagger thingy) in each hand fightin style looks more skilled |
||
|
Raziel von Carstein |
|||
|
Posts: 62 (03/13/08 01:28 AM) A Festivus Miracle! |
People who are good at math or computers suck.
Seriously. They're always so high-and-mighty and think that, for whatever reason, what is basic knowledge to them is therefore basic to everyone else. I was once chastised by a friend of mine for not being able to do "basic pre-calc" on my own. A note to my friend: Fuck you, dude. That and I hate how they seem to think that math is the only useful skill on earth. Now, I will agree, everything can be translated into a numerical value, but nine times out of ten, that takes the beauty out of it. I'd much rather think of a painting as a painting instead of an amalgam of percentages and hex values. 
|
||
|
the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5049 (03/13/08 02:40 AM) |
Legolas sucks everywhere, whatever he does. His only line... hell, his only APPEARANCE in LotR should have been the "They're taking the Hobbits to
Isengard!" bit, so it could be lampooned to death, as has been done.
Does Drizz't Do'urden count?Hell yeah. Drow suck twice as much as normal elves. And especially those that 'go against their bad nature' and have a Deus Ex Machina ability like his 'Hunter' instinct. Elves are ruining Fantasy, books, movies, games and comics. Along with Orcs and Hobbits. More talking animals, damnit! They're always so high-and-mighty and think that, for whatever reason, what is basic knowledge to them is therefore basic to everyone else. I was once chastised by a friend of mine for not being able to do "basic pre-calc" on my own.Agreed. I stink at math and the way it seems so simple to others just bites wind. And now everyone is into those Sudoku puzzles. I just suck at those. What's so fun about them? Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Hash Ak Gik666 |
re: | ||
|
Posts: 687 (03/13/08 04:26 AM) |
Math blows, $$@# numbers.
I don't actually like Drizz't. I haven't even read the books that he's in. I just hear a lot of $%$+ about him about how supposedly awesome he is, but he really seems like a douche to me. But that has absolutely no bearing on how awesome Link is. Random thought: people who pronounce "caramel" as "CAR-mul" suck. "Nothing is as big as mine." - Bruce Campbell |
||
|
the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5050 (03/13/08 04:29 AM) |
Sorry about all the ranting, but if I gave my actual random thoughts, you'd get stuff like "my leg itches" and "what's that
smell?".
Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Hash Ak Gik666 |
re: | ||
|
Posts: 688 (03/13/08 04:43 AM) |
Random thought: "Oh, my God, 8th just apologized for ranting."
"Nothing is as big as mine." - Bruce Campbell |
||
|
FORGOTTEN SARAFAN |
|||
|
Posts: 2412 (03/13/08 07:15 AM) |
my boss jus told me a story of when he was an apprentice he and his jouther in the workshop
you think he was hinting at somethin? |
||
|
Robby just |
|||
|
Posts: 571 (03/13/08 09:46 AM) |
"But, if anyone here knows of a version of elves (because some writers try to be clever and call them differently) that DO somehow kick major amounts of
ass, or whom die horrible, horrible deaths, please let me know. "
My NightElf in Oblivion... he was the coolest #*!% ever! Also, Illidan. Random thought: I'm sleepy. If you don't have a life... and intent to keep it that way, go here.  |
||
|
Raziel von Carstein |
|||
|
Posts: 65 (03/13/08 03:32 PM) A Festivus Miracle! |
slurpee: it's just wrong to be watching some random pr0nclip and it starts out with some hot, hot chick with a hot, hot bod... then they start speaking german and you're thinking "wait a minute here" and then she lies down and some guy squats over her and WOAH COMMAND-Wbash.org is awesome. EDIT: And I would die a happy manif recording artists sued the RIAA. REVENGE OF THE EDIT: I wonder if Scooby-Doo inspired anyone to go into crime investigation.
Last Edited By: Raziel von Carstein
03/13/08 05:18 PM.
Edited 2 times.
|
||
|
Dr Tanner |
|||
|
Posts: 156 (03/13/08 06:06 PM) |
Here's an interesting story, folks. And it might make more sense to the Britons amongst you than anyone else, but what the hell.
SO ANYWAY In the UK we have this really old-style design for tins of Lyle's Golden Syrup. I totally just ate two spoonfuls of this stuff on its own with a spoon. So goooooodd~, mmnh~. This is what the tin looks like and has looked like for some considerable years now. The design of the new squeezy bottle variety breaks my heart, not just because I'm a hopeless romantic who loves old-style things but also because it throws this little story right out of the window: 
See, that lion's actually a dead lion. As the story goes - and I think it might be in the Bible but I'm really not sure; I'm positive there are people around here who could tell me  - these guys found this dead lion, and some bees had built their hive inside the lion's carcass. They were making
honey and stuff in there, as bees tend to do in their hives, hence the slogan also on the tin: "OUT OF THE STRONG CAME FORTH SWEETNESS".
And that's why there's a dead lion with bees flying around it on the tin.  Unfortunately this isn't the case on the new squeezy bottle; the lion
on the squeezy bottle is chubby and cartoony, and, more importantly, quite obviously not dead.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honour!
Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth! And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one! ... And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a ZOO! UNLESS IT'S A FARM.
Last Edited By: Dr Tanner
03/13/08 06:08 PM.
Edited 1 times.
|
||
|
the 8th lieutenant |
|||
|
Posts: 5052 (03/14/08 04:00 AM) |
these guys found this dead lion, and some bees had built their hive inside the lion's carcass.Samson. Herculean biblical dude with long hair. As long as his hair stayed... well, long, he basically had super strength. He ripped that lion in two with his bare hands - and tore down buildings and killed whole armies with a single jawbone - and when he returned later, he found bees had made a hive in the carcass. What the historical or moral value of that dude's story was, though, I haven't the foggiest. I wonder if Scooby-Doo inspired anyone to go into crime investigation.On that note: I never trusted Freddy, even though the rest thinks he's their leader. Why? He was always too eager to split up. "Alright guys! To solve this mystery, we'll split up. Shaggy; you, Velma and Scooby go that way. Daphne and me will go this way." :evil We'd immediately clip to Scooby and Shaggy, whom the monster ALWAYS finds first, then, when we see Freddy and Daphne again, Freddy's grinning like a maniac and Daphne looks half traumatized. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE TRYING TO TELL US?! Evil Overlord list item #98: If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However, if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other - except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives, at which point there are hints of sexual tension - I will immediately order their execution. |
||
|
Dr Tanner |
|||
|
Posts: 158 (03/14/08 09:17 AM) |
Also Shaggy was a stoner.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honour!
Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth! And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one! ... And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a ZOO! UNLESS IT'S A FARM. |
||
